9th Febuary 2008

No LUCK Its Fat Greg!

Anyone get the pun? don't worry me neither.The King Blues were fantastic Sunday night, Contender for gig off the year? First off I'm 22 and I appear to still be subject to childish bullying. I was listening to an article on the radio today about a man who is 50 and due to being bullied when he was younger found it hard to cope in general run of the mill life and refuses to speak to anyone at all! In a way this guys got the right idea in theory if you didn't speak to anyone no one could accuse of acting out of line and saying thing in which didn't agree were necessary. Anyway back to my point I was outside a certain Club a couple of weeks ago a absolutely massive yob with a school uniform on (I'm pretty sure the school he attends wouldn't have been open at 4 on a Saturday morning,maybe he had a bullying fetish....) Felt it was a reasonable idea to steal my hat. Not only did he find it reasonable to steal my hat he also found it a reasonable idea to wear in on his oversize head. I then had to leap up using my friend as a foot rest and grab it off his head. I read the tag and surely enough it was my hat that this buffoon was wearing it. I politely informed him of this to which he grabbed the hat back and uttered in a manner which sounded like Fred Flinstone after having an accident in what ever prehistoric car he drives in. "My Hat" Can you believe it! No please thank you, tika hoki,arigato,diolch yn fawr. Anyway he then in a little better English informs me he is going to hurt me if i don't let him be. I loved that hat I feel upset its going to spend the rest of its life snuggled up on someone elses head. Probably feeling uneasy that it left me for a drunken fling after a club. Then this weekend in the same place I lost my newly technological space phone. This however is being replaced which is nice but i didn't have the same attachment as I did in with the hat. In fact this past week or so I have been in planning deep plans of revenge in order to regain my hat. This has involved going to the gym everyday, starting rock climbing(which I was rubbish at), I have also considered getting a picture of the hat tattooed on my chest so when i find the oaf that stole it and rip of my shirt ready to do battle he will see the reason that I have come to kill him with my bare hands. Note: this is bare hands not "bear" hands, although if anyone knows a route to obtaining "bear" hands inform me as they may come in handy in killing him. My car also seems to be dying this week so i may revert to walking everywhere to even further build up my strength. Anyway music in the second city is amazing at the moment. Punk and Ska @ Scruffies was top again with more people there than ever and it carrying on to well into the early hours! I am aware that I point this out in multiple blogs. The reason for this being in my head my millions of imaginary friends read this and all go wow then the next time i turn up at Scruffies there is tonnes of celebrities and press there all asking Ronnie how he puts on such a good night with such good people. Unfortunately only Johnny reads this and he goes anyway. I am still writing songs I just wrote quite a heartfelt one called rock n roll dreams. Although I don't wish to publish it on here as a) I want to perform these songs on a stage at some point this year instead of just going on about how good they are online and b) Posting a heartfelt song this close to valentines day may suggest I'm friend with the 50 year billy no mates. Which I'm not as I always found him ignorant. On a Final note there is so much awesome stuff coming up in Birmingham in the next few months starting of this Friday with various djs including Ronnie at the Acadagay on dales end, notice the double pun? I have also come up with an idea for a music club night where people can go to a pub in Birmingham in order to swop records have a couple of pints and generally discuss and promote gigs that are going on. Its good for promoting upcoming gigs and records that you may own and like. Johnny you being the only person reading this let me know what you think? Suggest the idea to other people then get them to tell me what they think. I of course wouldn't attend as I'm pretty sure my drunken plane crash of a face used to scare half the people going to the gig but I could still organise it and maybe the people attending could put a framed picture of me above the fireplace as the founder.

Me and My adored hat with its other hat friends! 2008-2009 (Maybe one day we'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when)



Here's a list of some rocking shows and stuff coming up in Birmingham.

14th January 2009

Lip up fatty

Basically im going to keep this short and sweet as theres a lot of things going on in my head that are getting my quite run down at the moment. I think ive hit a quarter life crisis since turning 22 In a way I hope this is true as 88 would be a good age to live to. In the past few weeks I have shaved me head to skin and spent 80 pounds on interior car accessories. I am now skint with a bald head and still having not sold my saxaphone(If anyone wants this please get in touch) am without an eight track to record the beautiful music i am currently writing on my bust up old guitar. I have also started to have dreams that I frequently used to have in my teens about being a rockstar. Although I still wake up to go to work everyday as car park attendent. Although car park attendents can pretend to be rockstars or in the case santa fuckin clause.(Mom if you read this excuse my language)

4th January 2009

A Little Poem Thingy

Basically ive written a lot of songs recently they're mainly pants but i haven't forked out on a any recording equipment to record them anyway and seen as i write constantly at the moment i like showing things to people but i cant post them up as a song because yeah no equipment! Anyway I wrote this of the top of my head in about ten minutes normally quick fire writing doesn't make any sense! but this makes perfectly good sense to me!


Finding time to leave this town
Wasnt hard with a kiss and a frown
I returned to the hell where it all goes down
But the devil had forget my name
So I hung my head in shame

Hands on my cheeks feet in my face
Running downhill but loosing the chase
I guess there was hope if I pleaded my case
But not everyones gonna get picked
So I looked in his eyes till he clicked

He said sorry but your timings late
Everyones been through the gate
I can see youve got your plan on a plate
But if youve got anything you regret
I can soon teach you how to forget

1st January 2009

2:30 Dentist Time!

Well I hope everyone enjoyed Christmas and new year!
New Year was good it consisted of going to some pubs then to a party then back to some pubs then back to a party then to another party where I was given some stew before returning to the other party to see everyone had received free fried chicken needless to say it was rockin!
I am happy to say this year though I ate possibly the best Christmas dinner I have ever eaten in fact I liked it so much I proceed to eat it again. Not in the sick In your mouth kind of way I reheated it at about 11 at night on Christmas day. My mom also decided to buy my dad a wii it he used it on Christmas day and I doubt it will get used again now till next year but anyway the bowling's quite good even if I'm scared he gonna end up putting his fist through the t.v.
Any new years resolutions? mine is to become a travelling folk musician i have some songs written there pretty bad though but I figure by the end of this year i should be good enough to just pack up my guitar and leave. Having aspirations like this at 22 is why I will probably never get married or have kids. But hey I can always buy a dog to celebrate hitting 40. Also another is to stop upsetting random members of the public by accident while in a pub on my birthday what I thought to be quite and attractive young girl turned around to my friend and decided to ask him how much the drink was displayed on the till at i saw it £2.30 and turned to the being the witty little know it all idiot I can be sometimes and blurted out dentist time! as in 2.30 "Tooth-Hurty" the girl then opened to what can only be described as mouth like the Tibet skyline. Anyway she got quite upset by this and I had to slowly explain the joke and calm her down by assuring her that her teeth weren't bad they just were not exactly usual i mean look at Shane Magowan hes a massive success without ever going to the dentist.
I'm trying to get hold of a decent 4 track or something along those line this week so i can post up some songs which Ive written and some lovely covers.
I'm going to stop writing soon as i suddenly got the horrible thought creeping through me that you know when you say at school if you were being to made to do something you would never do it again of your own back well remember those diary's you were asked to write about your holiday when you got back to school well yeah......
Anyway question of the week is what song do you want playing at your funeral?
This a seemingly popular question I seem to be asking to everyone at the moment it may sound an odd one but I feel you can tell a lot about a person by what music they listen to and what song would sum them up more than that. Also I'm pretty sure I'm not the only person that's scared of popping there clogs and getting a shit song played at the funeral.
I began asking this to everyone recently its turning into a bit of a survey although the feedback isnt that great as a lot of people think its some kind of morbid chat up line to which im going to reply "cus your going to feel dead " by the end of tonight.
Sorry if this has been quite badly written im quite hungover and orange juice seems to be giving me heartburn recently. Anyone want to buy a saxaphone ? I have one going good rate, good case etc.

Anway Artist of the week is this guy let me know if you think hes rockin or have his cds or anything else.

Tim Barry

8th December 2008

Its Nearly January! Thank Fuck

When starting to write this blog I was quite honestly planning to do it a little more often as usually my life should have a little more interest to it. Anyway Christmas is on its way and quite frankly i couldn't give a flying toss I use every weekend I can as an excuse to give stuff to people drink large quantity's of wine and eat stupidly large meals so really this month isn't going to be any different. My parent have decided already that theres going to be no decorations or trees in the house and last year they apparently didn't give each other presents either so it will really be just another day so I possibly will try to work on Christmas day so I get at least something positive out of it. One Greatly annoying thing about this festive bit of rubbish is that it overshadows Fat Greg Day. Some people believe that for some reason sticking up decorations to celebrate some famous hippy is more important than my birthday. There is one question I will ask to close this subject which none of you will be able to answer and that my friends is why?
On another note what is everyone doing for new year? I heard Edinburgh's rocking for those without a passport, although Amsterdam looks kinda top of my list although i think Ive been saying that for the past 11 years since I hit puberty. New years is apparently always shit my new years last year was actually wicked. The year before was actually good as well. The year before that was also wicked. So yeah all good new year party's as far as I can remember. This statement must be from company. My company's always brilliant otherwise I wouldn't be speaking to you!

This blog probably hasn't made sense to anyone as I'm currently quite ill in bed and rambling absolute rubbish to everyone so here is a list of gigs I shall be going to in the next month or so if your going let me know so I don't have to make small talk with you when you randomly appear.

Saturday 13th December: The Levellers,Frank Turner@ The Acadamy

Monday 15th December: The Pougues@The Acadamy

Wednesday 17th December: Sonic Boom Six, Mouthwash,Babar luck@The Acadamy

Friday 18th December: Punk N Ska @ Scruffys Fancy Dress!

Friday 26th December: Fat Greg Day

1st December 2008

This Is England (Although Sometimes I Wish It Wasn't)

First of all Punk and Ska at Scruffys was uber cool on Thursday. Ronnie spins some excellent tracks always with a lovely smile on his face. More people need to start going down to it as there is always a wicked vibe and loads of positive energy! (This plug has nothing to do with the multi selection of free beer i seem to be presented with every time I visit Ronnie's current place of residence. This also reminds me I appear to have purchased an unbelievable shiny pair of shoes. It looks like at the moment tillIi get a new pair everyone is going to have to purchase ultra strong sunglasses or possibly just not open there eyes when in my company. I purchased these shoes under the pretense that they were patented leather although it appears to they are PVC. If anyone has a shoe fetish let me know you can have them in return for a can of Stella or other medium priced European larger.
Onto the title of this article since being away from the country for a while it appears that Shane Meadows masterpiece "This Is England" has become quite a popular film. So it should be it has a beautiful story line with some absolutely brilliant characters that you gain affection for throughout the film.
Anyway so I head out for a few drinks on Saturday night with my quite comfortable long black jacket and my ultra cool black hat. While in the second pub of the evening with a bottle of vodka my good friend Shane and his new other half Jay, Shane mentions This Is England and how being the merry little fella in my black hat I reminded him of a character from the film. This was a fair enough point and we discussed the film for a while both being big fans of ska and also of great films. I then, a couple of hours later left the pub to go to an absolutely rubbish club to meet some of my friends. When arriving from my short walk to the club I see a cue which looks like a mix up between and Amsterdam brothel window and bunch of blokes that are wanting to meet that Gok Wan or Wok Gan or whichever hes called these days. While standing at the back of the cue minding my business and trying figure out how much the hookers cost, Some male, mid 20s,bad Birmingham accent and designer stubble shouts out the name of a certain character from "This Is England" I turn around in absolute awe wondering if this certain character from the film had come to see the hookers too. To my dismay this metro sexual Muppet hadn't actually spotted the actor and proceeded to start laughing in my face he then shouted the characters name in my face again. So I decided to nervously but politely inform him that i wasn't the character from the film and that he might wanna stop using those cucumbers on his eyes as the character from the film was actually black while as I have a kind of pink orange complexion. The man then proceeded to get quite aggressive soIi decided to move down the cue looking for anyone I could pretend to know. I didn't know anyone so i kept moving further down the cue to which point I was actually at the entrance and proceeded to walk in no questions asked about why i hadn't been stood in the half an hour long cue. Maybe the docile bouncers on the door presumed I was the character from the film as well. Anyway once inside the club I decided to hide outside as it appeared everywhere I went someone decided to steal my hat and pretend to be me. I know I absolutely ooze coolness and that a lot of people may aspire to be at my stature but as soon my hat is taken from me I loose any credibility and confidence I ever had and might as well be fresh from the womb. One of these fans/groupies/hookers was the same idiot I had seen doing a line of coke on the 144 bus into town earlier.
Which brings me on to my next topic why do people feel the need show off that there an absolute tosser in the public eye. Mainly when being moaned at that the youth are going nowhere and this countries going to the pants with crime and such(Which I've got a lot in the past working in a numerous amount of pubs). I try to put across a positive message that the youth are doing really well in current times and it doesn't help an older generation not giving them much to aim towards. The same idiot then proceeded to shout out about how much he'd drunk and what a brilliant person he was. I'm sorry but I don't think hes going feel so brilliant when someone that feels they don't feel safe in the company of people like this and decides to stab him. I refuse to believe the recent rise in murder victims wasn't caused somewhat by people acting like this in a place they probably shouldn't. I'm not saying all the people that have died due to youth crime in the past couple of years were out and out louts and I'm not going to go too in depth as I know a lot of horrific cases have happened recently and there are a lot of genuinely loving and caring families that are at a deep loss. The main point of this little rant is if this great film has become a nationwide success why aren't people A)listening to more rock steady and ska (all i heard in the club I was in was just playing really bad house) B)why aren't people just generally acting polite most of the good characters in the film smile and are very polite.
Fact: I smile and use manners with everyone I meet.
Fiction: Fat Greg is a drip.
Anyway the next day my friend informs me that another Shane Meadows film "Dead Mans Shoes" has also become a major success. I am certain that I will receive no name calling from this as my new PVC shoes are the livest thing going!

28th November 2008

A Small Poem

For my first post ive decided to post a short poem I wrote today. I know this all sounds a bit emo/post goth/new romantic/semi erotic/etc etc but its meant to be a positive rambling!

Penny for penny
Hour for hour
Footstep for footstep
We walk with no power

Let us learn from our elders
But persist on our own
If our people are leaders
Let this land be our throne

If your stride feels restricted
And you cant turn your frown
Don't let it ever,
and that means ever! get you down!